To be successful as a teenager means that your teenager is able to overcome obstacles that prevent them from doing well in school, they develop healthy relationships with their other family members and friends, and of course they stay out of trouble.
Many parents get frustrated trying to raise their teenage children. Many of these parents enjoy raising their children while their kids are still in elementary school, but lose sense of control and become frustrated as parents during their kids' teenage years. This is nothing new and it will always be an issue for many. The truth is that unless you are lucky, it takes a lot of work, time, love, and patience to ensure that your children can be successful as teenagers. If you really love your children, they should mean the world to you. If this is so, it should not bother you to put in the necessary effort to make your dreams of a successful teen a reality. In fact, you should feel great as you are doing everything you can to guide your children to success.
Raising a successful teenager really begins as soon as your children are born. Some people would argue that it begins as soon as they are conceived. Either way, the sooner you start doing everything you can to ensure your children's success, the more likely they will become succe.
Infant and Toddler Years
The infant and toddler years of a child's life are the foundation for success in many areas. During this time, there is no question that you must make sure to maintain your child's physical health by having regular check-ups with a pediatrician and also make sure your child is getting their proper nutrition. Where the confusion seems to be is how and when to give children attention. If you give positive attention to your baby every time he or she cries, he or she will become dependent and can cause major issues down the road. If you do not give your baby enough positive attention, he or she will have difficulty developing trust between him or her and you. This too, would cause major problems down the road. If you develop a schedule for your baby, in which eating, napping, playing, and sleeping routines are created and set, you will limit the amount of crying for you and your child. This is also the time to start training your child that if they cry for apparently no reason, they will not get your attention. Of course, you should already be giving them lots of positive attention.
If your child cries, you need to know whether he or she has legitimate reason to cry or not. If you have established your daily routines and the routines have been managed properly, check to see if your child needs a diaper change or anything that could be wrong with him or her. If nothing seems to be wrong, let your baby cry and walk away. At first this will feel like you are abandoning your child, but trust me, this will help them develop independence. The crying could also irritate you for a while, but eventually your baby will usually only cry if he or she absolutely needs something. You will be thankful you went through this process every time you hear other parents complaining that they can't get any sleep or any work done because of all the crying. This process shows your child that you will be there to take care of him or her whenever he or she needs to be taken care of, but at the same time, your child will learn that he or she does not have to rely on you all the time.
You must also remember to play with you child as much as you can during the waking hours. Many things are learned through play for both the child and the parent. This also allows you and your child to develop a love for being with each other as well as trust. Play also allows your baby to explore and to test the world around him or her.
The same rules apply for toddlers. The only difference is that toddlers will need to explore more than an infant as they are more mobile and their mind and senses are also more developed. Make sure your house is toddler safe. Toddlers should be allowed to explore with your guidance but also without your guidance. They need to see that they do not need you to teach them things; that they can learn on their own. Doing this lays the foundation for success in school.
It is also important to understand that children in these early stages do not understand right from wrong and should not be treated negatively as a result for doing something wrong. At these ages, children need to feel secure. They also need to know that you are their support.
School-age Years
The real difficult work necessary to ensure a high potential for success for your future teenager comes during their school-age years. During these years, your children establish themselves as individuals. In order for them to become successful teens, they must be successful school-agers. School-aged children need lots of support, love, patience, and discipline. These four concepts are very important to the well being of children. Children must feel like their parents care more about them than anything. This can be done by listening to what they have to say, asking them about school, going to back to school nights, playing with them any chance you get, being affectionate with them, letting them know you notice their improvements, and many other activities. They need to know that they are your whole world; and yes, they should be.
The most difficult part of school-aged children is discipline. Many parents are confused about how they should discipline your children. The sad thing is that how you discipline children has a huge impact on who they will be as teenagers.
The word discipline comes from the Latin word, disciplina, which means teaching. To discipline your child does not mean to punish them; it means to teach or guide them. This should always be done in a positive fashion. One thing to remember is that children are a reflection of their parents. For this reason as well as others, you need to discipline your children through modeling. If you act differently than you preach, your children might not accept your word. This will also cause confusion for your children and trust between parent and child can be broken.
When children do something wrong, they need to be guided, not punished. Punishments and rewards are often used to keep children on the correct path. However, these are extrinsic motivators and may work at the moment, but they do nothing to develop your children into successful teens. If children do something wrong, sending them to their room or spanking them does not teach them the lesson they need to learn so they do not make the same mistake again. As kids get older extrinsic motivators such as spanking, timeouts, and banishment to their rooms become ineffective. Children start to weigh the risk and rewards of situations because they have not developed intrinsic motivation. Sometimes they do not get caught doing something wrong and they are rewarded for that behavior because they have not gotten caught. This leads children to do other things they should not do. Without intrinsic motivation, they also become okay with being punished because they enjoy the poor behavior more than they dislike the punishment.
Children need to learn intrinsic motivation. This means that they do the right thing because it feels right; not because they get something out of it. They also resist doing things that are wrong because they would feel disappointed in themselves afterward. This is how a good and strong self-conscience works.
Developing intrinsic motivation in children can be difficult, but is necessary to ensure their success as teens. When children get in trouble, instead of punishing them, they need to be guided. Parents can do this by responding to them in a calm manner. Children must know when their parents are disappointed in them. However, yelling or using harsh language causes more harm than good. Parents must share their disappointment with their children in a loving tone and make sure their children know that when they do something wrong, it hurts their parents. After having this loving talk, parents should do activities with their children that will help them learn right from wrong. Reading books together that teach the lesson involved in the situation is a great activity. Then parents and their children can discuss what happened in the story and how it is very similar to what happened in their own life. Parents should have their children communicate what they did and how it was wrong as well as what they would do next time if they are in the same situation. If they are able to write about the situation, parents should have them write about it and at the same time, parents can help them with their writing. Not only are children thinking about what they did but they are also practicing positive communication skills and learning how to write. As kids get older, many more activities are possible as a form of discipline. For instance, if a child is overheard making fun of someone, his or her parents can take them around the neighborhood to have the child ask people to donate old blankets for a homeless or women's shelter. Then the whole family can deliver the blankets to the shelter.
Disciplining children in this way tells them that they are not alone in trying to figure out how to become the person they should be. They know that their parents will always be there for them even when they have done something wrong. If punishment is used instead, a wall will be built between parents and their children. When their children are teens, they will not want to go to their parents for guidance or help because they would be afraid. This can cause them to get in even more trouble. If discipline as I describe it is used, children will know they can go to their parents for anything. This is so important because when children are teenagers, they are going through many changes and are faced with many problems. They need to know that they can trust their parents to treat them fairly and with respect when they have a problem. Without this trust, teenagers can easily become lost. Once they are lost, it is very difficult for them to ever find their way to success.
Conclusion
During the infant and toddler years, children must develop independence, a joy for learning, and need to be encouraged to explore. During the school-age years, parenting is a lot of work if it is done right. If parents really do love their children, they would not think twice about making sure they do what is right for their children. Parents who love their children would also get a lot of joy from raising their children the right way, especially during times of discipline. When disciplined properly, children develop intrinsic motivation. This motivation helps keep them on the right path without needing their parents constantly on their case about getting things done or doing the right things. This makes it much easier to be parents of teenagers. By their teenage years, children who have been disciplined as I have described would be more likely to have strong, loving relationships with their parents. This relationship will help them through all problems that come their way and they will become successful teens.
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