As a parent of a teenager I often find myself amazed that time has gone by so quickly. It seems like only yesterday she was an infant in my arms. But I know that the time is very quickly coming when she will be leaving the nest and finding her own way in the world. Frankly, that thought scares me. Not so much because I'm afraid of losing her, but rather because I'm afraid that she's not ready. So how do we make sure that our teens are ready to face the world on their own.
There are things you can do to ensure that your teenager is ready for a life of her own. As they grow older they will start to show more independence, and want to do things without mom and dad. While it may be hurtful at times to think that your child doesn't want to be around you, you must understand that it is just one of the way your teen is maturing. Now is the time to help her get ready.
1. Understanding the real world.
Up until now your teen has had a somewhat sheltered life. They have been cared for by you. You have made sure they were fed, clothed and had a roof over their head. Although teens are usually very smart, they may not quite understand how the real world works.
One of the best things your teen can do to prepare for life in the real world is to get a job. They may not like it, but it will be beneficial to them. It will not only allow them to be able to purchase extra things that they want, but it will also help teach them responsibility and the importance of money.
Once your teen starts working and receives her first paycheck, sit with her and talk about money. Get a pen and paper and write down how much her paycheck is. Then, on paper, show her how much it costs to live. Once your teen sees the figures on paper she will quickly realize that there probably isn't enough in her paycheck to cover the basics. That's when you teach her about needs versus wants and the importance of saving.
Another important aspect of having a job is the responsibility of keeping it. Most teenagers get tired of doing things every day. Or they may decide they don't like their job or their boss. They need to understand that that's the way life is. They may be tempted to quit their job when they tire of it. You should explain to them that just because they don't like something, they can't just quit. If they quit their job as a teenager just because they don't like it, they will be setting a dangerous precedent for their entire lives.
2. Emotions
We all know that the world can be a very scary place most of the time. Your teen, however, probably doesn't understand the extent of the dangers and frightening situations waiting for her out there. Now is the perfect time to explain things to her.
Let her know that she will soon be relying on herself for everything. She will be responsible for clothing herself, for stocking her refrigerator and for maintaining a household on her own. Ask her how she feels about that. She will probably tell you that it scares her very much. That's understandable and expected. After all, she's never actually faced the real world on her own.
Make sure she understands that, while she will be working to pay for her own way, you will always be there to catch her if she should fall.
As the time draws nearer for her to leave the nest and start life on her own, be there for her. Help her find her first apartment. Help her find furnishings that she can afford. Take her grocery shopping and teach her that frozen pizza and soda is not the only things on the shelf. In short, teach her how to live.
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